Mandy's Bitch - Can't talk to a psycho...

Mandy's Bitch

Can't talk to a psycho...

18th-Jul-2005 08:24 pm

Posting my uber-fic as promised. Will get to the lists later this week - uh, hopefully.

This actually turned out to be longer than The Ninth Plague and, I think, is definitely better written. It's amazing what you learn after doing it once.

It comes in at roughly 18500 words - which is still not novel length, I guess, but I'm a little stunned all the same.

Title: A Collision on the Road
Rating: NC-17, Rape warning.
Category: Beecher/ Keller, AU
Summary: “If only it could be like this all the time. Maybe then they'd have a chance.”
Author’s Notes: Written for the Oz Lyric Wheel Challenge 2005. This story started from a song – and quickly grew into a monster thanks to lyrics (“Trigger Happy Jack” by Poe) sent by

rustler to whom all gratitude, cheques and/ or hate mail should be sent.

You should mail whatever’s left to

maverick4oz who offered encouragement and did beta duty, and taught me to speak American (‘pants’ not ’trousers’ and ‘pepperoni’ not ‘salami’ – keep that in mind. kiddies).

And if in passing you could nod to

unwinding who told me all the things I needed to hear, well, that would be sweet.

A Collision on the Road (in four parts).

Tags:fic oz

Comments

18th-Jul-2005 01:58 pm (UTC)

maisfeeka

Wow! That's really an amazing story. You really seem to have captured both of their voices so well. It just *feels* like them! Thanks for sharing!

19th-Jul-2005 04:08 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

Welcome to the land of Oz! It so cool to see other people on my flist discovering my obsession. *g*

You really seem to have captured both of their voices so well. It just *feels* like them! Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for reading. And thanks for commenting too - glad they hit the right notes with you. :)

18th-Jul-2005 06:17 pm (UTC)

magarettt

Ack, I gave a little yip OUT LOUD upon seeing this announcement. So very excited to read it. I'm gonna wait for a nice block of time when I can sit down and read the whole thing at once -- EEEEE! How are you so calm?!?

19th-Jul-2005 05:31 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

How are you so calm?!?

Drugs. Mostly. ;)

Enjoy!

18th-Jul-2005 06:59 pm (UTC)

audragoren

Unbelievable and awesome! I know you like honesty from your reviews. And Honestly this is in my top 5 favorite OZ fics. I really enjoyed it!!!!

19th-Jul-2005 02:08 pm (UTC)

mandysbitch

And Honestly this is in my top 5 favorite OZ fics. I really enjoyed it!!!!

Wow. That's high praise. I'm very flattered.

And I appreciate your 'honestly' - I *really* appreciate it. ;)

19th-Jul-2005 06:09 am (UTC)

magarettt

Loved it. I completely agree that Toby, for whatever reason, is at home in prison. For him, the "normal life" is the prison that he's forced into. Thank you so much for bringing that out.

This fic has really good philosophy mixed in amongst all the hot sex. :)

19th-Jul-2005 02:13 pm (UTC)

mandysbitch

completely agree that Toby, for whatever reason, is at home in prison.

I think so - I think there was always that idea that he didn't belong because he a more *moral* person, but he had all the opportunity, all the affluence, and he abused it. The other inmates of Oz kill as a way of life, for survival and Ryan so poignantly puts it. It doesn't make Toby immoral but it means that he *is* deserving of his punishment. And I think, as a moral person, he knows it.

This fic has really good philosophy mixed in amongst all the hot sex. :)

Ha ha ha! That's *great*. That's so well put. Yes, I like a little philosophy with my hot sex.... ;)

19th-Jul-2005 10:58 am (UTC)

swear_jar

When this turned up on my friends page I went “OMG!”... quite a lot.

Chris bear hugs Toby, a gesture so over-friendly Toby knows there’s a catch.

That! Yes!

I’ve actually thought about what type of music Keller would listen too (and not got far), and I so agree with you, especially about Johnny Cash.

He gets out of the car, walks around to the front and throws his arms up to the heavens, catching rain.

Great image.

The end of part three was blindingly hot.

And… yeah. Ouch. I loved it. ::Off to write rec::.

20th-Jul-2005 07:31 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

so agree with you, especially about Johnny Cash.

Prison boys love their Johnny Cash. :) I must admit, it's difficult with Keller. Did I also say Patsy Cline? I see him as a Patsy Cline fan, maybe Nancy Sinatra because she wore white boots... and Elvis, of course. Maybe a little blues? Beecher was even more difficult. I decided not to go there. Althoug, Pink Floyd seemed a logical choice.

The end of part three was blindingly hot.

I think I'm getting better at sex scenes. They're freaking scary to write, though. I find the trick is to write them and then just cut the scene in half - take out half the words. It helps.

And… yeah. Ouch. I loved it. ::Off to write rec::.

I saw that. Thanks. I am much obliged. :)

20th-Jul-2005 04:17 am (UTC)

likethesun2

Argh. I got so excited when I saw this pop up on my friends' page, but still haven't had a block of time in which to read and savor it. This weekend, definitely. Looking forward to it so much.

24th-Jul-2005 04:25 pm (UTC)

likethesun2

Loved this so much when I finally found the time to read it. The pacing of it in particular works so well for me--it really is a big story, in terms of space and time and action covered, but you gave each section all the attention it was due. I admire that.

I also loved this section:

Chris picks up the spoon and spins it on its head again. Toby watches it. 19th century mesmerists used spinning objects to induce a trance state. Chris knows tricks he doesn't understand.

That's such a beautiful touch; the sort of trivia Toby would know, and the sort of trick Chris would almost unconsciously employ.

And also this:

Toby aches inside, aches where his children aren't, aches for the life he could have had, aches for his son, his father, Schillinger's sons, Said, Hill, Barlog, Cyril, Guenzel, even Adebisi - the long line of dead behind him.

He aches and sometimes, when Chris is inside him, he thinks he can bear it. If only he can have this man, so perfect in his imperfection.

YES, YES. That's it. Chris fills holes, Chris takes the edge off the pain. Chris, in his way, is another addiction, another habit.

Thank you for this.

25th-Jul-2005 12:56 pm (UTC)

mandysbitch

The pacing of it in particular works so well for me--it really is a big story, in terms of space and time and action covered

Big! Yes! Well put. And the Grand Canyon is *big*. I did wonder if I'd bitten off more than I could chew in this story.

Chris fills holes, Chris takes the edge off the pain. Chris, in his way, is another addiction, another habit.

YES! I think Toby *needs* Chris in the way that an addict *needs* - like the thought of a normal life is an inconceivable idea. He gave it a shot, and for a while it worked, but he got a taste of Chris again and from then on but it's a downward spiral. In a way, it's beautiful - that someone can be needed like that - in other ways it's terrible, because it's only going to end in tragedy. I find this relationship *so* appealing. I like the idea that it constantly juxtaposes great beauty and great feeling with great downfall.

I think I'd like to really hit on that idea in a story - maybe the next one... Hmmmm...

Thank you for this.

Thank *you*. I'm really pleased to hear what you thought.

24th-Jul-2005 05:57 pm (UTC)

handful_ofdust

I could quibble with the Beecher gets raped yet again thing, but I suppose it's more likely than not, unfortunately. What I will say is that you might think about changing "Are you fucking mad?" to "Are you fucking crazy?", since it's the only non-Americanism that jumps out at me, and did it hard enough to jolt me from the story. Otherwise, this is wonderful, evocative, very hot and *true*-seeming work. Great stuff.

25th-Jul-2005 03:57 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

I could quibble with the Beecher gets raped yet again thing, but I suppose it's more likely than not, unfortunately.

It's a valid quibble. Admittedly, I'm not very fond of the idea of portraying Toby as a victim yet again so I get where you are coming from. I actually spent some time trying to nut out the story without a rape (if only because I'm a coward and the thought of writing it was *very* daunting) but it was difficult to get Chris to the state of mind where I wanted him to be without having something drastic happen to Toby. And I wanted Chris to remain sympathetic - so Lovejoy had to be a pretty revolting character. I know it seems like a simple plot - but goddamn it took some maneuvering! I'm sticking with character vignettes from now on! ;) I'm hoping Toby taking on responsibility for the shooting counters the "victim" aspect somewhat...

What I will say is that you might think about changing "Are you fucking mad?" to "Are you fucking crazy?"

Ah, you're quite right. And you know, I think my US beta actually pointed that one out to me but for some reason it slipped through. My bad. :(

Otherwise, this is wonderful, evocative, very hot and *true*-seeming work. Great stuff.

Thanks. Glad it worked for you despite the odd flaws. And thanks for the comments too - I appreciate hearing what works and what doesn't. Cheers.

31st-Jul-2005 08:52 pm (UTC)

noblerot

GAAAH. This is such a beautiful piece of writing. The characterizations, the motivations, the language, all exquisite. I'll try to post a longer comment later, pointing out the many moments I adored. For now, I'll just say... GAAAH. GUH.

2nd-Aug-2005 02:50 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

I'll try to post a longer comment later, pointing out the many moments I adored

Oh - no need. It's just nice to know you read and stuff... Honestly, the whole "GAAAH" thing speaks volumes to me. ;) I'm very flattered.

20th-Jun-2007 05:30 am (UTC)

coldryuuza

oh. this fic was wonderful, etc. :D
loved the plotline and the small spark of hope at the end.

2nd-Jul-2007 03:05 am (UTC)

mandysbitch

sorry to take so long getting back to your comment - my inbox is a mess at the moment.

But I wanted to say THANKS, because this is a fic I'm especially proud of - and it's my love letter to Oz and the B/K relationship which gave me so much pleasure and food for thought. So I'm so pleased when people tell me they like it. It makes me very happy. :)

Cheers!

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