Flashlights. Intriguing that you use, apparently, Australian spelling and yet American terminology. I suppose that's to be related to the subject, though.

Incidentally, there's a typo when Rodney and John are with Liz and talking about clones, you've written "Elizbeth rubs her chin"

I recall you once saying you don't mind corrections and if you're anything like me you'll be embarrassed but appreciate the errors being spotted.

You have a temperature of 100.2."

I'm sure this was tricky for you and this is why I don't write fic like this. I'd be inclined to wonder if Scotland usually use Celcius and considering Canadians say "zed" if they would use C degrees too.

Being on an American dominated expedition it's likely they'd have to adapt anyway, but I'd have found it funny if they used their home measurements when alone. Of course, I'm unwell so the fever might be doing stupid things and I'm sure you researched it anyway and made a decision.

Did that sound critical, it wasn't meant that way. Just demonstrating my weird mind.

"The Curies worked to better understand the atom until the day their insides melted from radiation poisoning. I expect nothing less from all of you!"

An excellent line. Very Rodney.

He's does a lot of fieldwork for an astrophysicist

I'm fairly certain the apostrophe s shouldn't be there but I'm not an expert.

When arrives at the infirmary, Beckett’s is sitting at his desk

I think a pronound should be in there somewhere.

"I’ve got two geneticists reviewing the information your downloaded from the Ancients’ laboratory

"you downloaded"?

"But if your temperature hasn’t dropped I sending you to your quarters and posting a guard outside

I'm?

if volume is any indication of fanaticism, then the Frankensteins are definitely devotees.

One could say the same of your story. ;) ... or my comment at this rate.

flip-flops

Like flashlight, American terms. Although I must wonder if your readers would have preferred John to walk in on Rodney in thongs. :P

"Not tell me – what do we know about our clones?"

At a guess, I'd say that should be "Now tell me"...

We know the Ancients were researching ascension,"

Just because I'm sure you care deeply about my thoughts, I'd be inclined to capitalise Ascension in this instance.

John’s getting his ass kicked

So much for Australian spelling.

Well written. Amusing and a good underlying story. Glad to see it wasn't entirely a ploy to get J and R in bed together.

Buggered if I fully understand the ins and outs of that last bit but I'm glad you sorted out the mystery of the clones if only for Rodney's sanity. John will have to find another part of their lives to pinpoint McKay's declining mental state.

Entertaining lines and I enjoyed the water polo player being cloned. Hah.

Disconcertingly, your description of Rodney's illness and symptoms are incredibly similar to my own at the moment so thank you very much for the reminder!

Thanks for that. I made all those changes.

Intriguing that you use, apparently, Australian spelling and yet American terminology.

Yes, well, here's the thing: the story is told from a point of view - Rodney's point of view. There's a name for that - an "unreliable narrator" or something? Anyway, it's a convention of narration that if you write a story from the point of view of one character, you can't include anything that character couldn't know. For example, I can't tell you what John is thinking because that's something Rodney can't possibly know (as opposed to omniscient narration which can tell you what everyone is thinking - which is very hard to do. I've tried). Similarly, Rodney can not call 'flashlights' 'torches' - it's unlikely he even knows what we mean by that. So I change my terminology to fit my narrator.

But the narrator doesn't spell. It's a voice not a diary. The idea is that the write is a transcriber - I transcribe Rodney's thoughts, but I don't interpret them. I spell them anyway I please.

John’s getting his ass kicked

So much for Australian spelling.

I'm in two minds about the word "ass". See, ordinarily I would say, spell it the way you're taught to spell it. BUT when I write "arse" people tend to think of the very British way of saying "ahhhse." Obversely, if I say "colour" there's no accent difference. So I go for "ass" because I don't want an interruption in the voice to impede the flow of my narration. But I feel quite traitorous about it...*g*

I'd be inclined to wonder if Scotland usually use Celcius and considering Canadians say "zed" if they would use C degrees too.

British use Farenheit. Yes, I research these things. Also, I was in the UK in the middle of Winter and I didn't understand the weather report once.

omniscient narration which can tell you what everyone is thinking - which is very hard to do. I've tried

I've heard that term before in reference to my own little dabbling in writing since that's what I tend to use. Not consciously; that's just always how my writing seems to turn out.

Calla, who had a look at my little hobby writing was very nice but one of his pet peeves is switched pov during a story (as showing what any other character is thinking tends to look like) so I'm trying hard to try something other than omniscient.

What you've said makes sense, thank you for explaining it. I certainly see your point about 'ass' as well. There is a noticable difference in pronunciation.

While we're on the topic of voice, I was thinking quite a bit how John seemed very true. I could easily see John in the way you'd written him. McKay shone through at very clear moments. Both of them were usually the amusing moments.

My memory is poor but I get the impression this is set somewhere quite later in Season 2 since I'm pretty sure I should remember solar systems exploding "don't do it again" also a great line.

And who the hell is Ronon? At first I thought it was the irritating father bloke Teyla has occasional conversations with but that doesn't seem to fit.

I feel quite traitorous about it...*g*

Well, that's all that matters. Say arse seven times as pennance.

Yes, I research these things.

I knew you would have. I didn't and that little scenario just jumped in my head. I thought it would be nice bonding for them to share metric. Probably fever talking. :P

Also, I was in the UK in the middle of Winter and I didn't understand the weather report once.

If Rodney or Beckett were to have originally come from metric systems I can only imagine how horribly difficult it would be to convert. I often think that of Chase in House. All those stupid 1/3 inch and F temps. Medicines, I think, at least use mg so that'd be a bit better.

I recall watching a show once and a character said someone's temperature was 100 degrees and my brother nearly had a heart attack. I explained it was a F and he was not, in fact, at boiling point.

Calla, who had a look at my little hobby writing was very nice but one of his pet peeves is switched pov during a story

I must say, I'm not a fan of it either. It breaks the mood - a story is a relationship you form with a narrator. You start brining in another narrator (in the form of someone else's point of view) you interrupt that relationship. It becomes less intimate.

I get the impression this is set somewhere quite later in Season 2 since I'm pretty sure I should remember solar systems exploding

I refuse to answer on the grounds I might spoil you. *g*

And who the hell is Ronon? At first I thought it was the irritating father bloke Teyla has occasional conversations with but that doesn't seem to fit.

Ah. Yes, well more spoilers there. If you want more information I'll give it to you, but if you prefer to remain completed unspoiled I'll clam up.

feel quite traitorous about it...*g*

Well, that's all that matters. Say arse seven times as pennance.

Heh heh heh...

often think that of Chase in House. All those stupid 1/3 inch and F temps. Medicines, I think, at least use mg so that'd be a bit better.

Oh - it would drive me batty. Poor guy! It's bad enough looking at the speedometers of cars in the UK and having no idea how fast I'm going, and then there's the road signs that say 20m to the nearest roadhouse and I'm like, "how far is that...?" Poor Chase. No wonder he looks perpetually confused.

Poor Chase. No wonder he looks perpetually confused.

Ah, mystery solved.

Yeah, my brother got a really really old car that had miles and I didn't even bother looking at it while he was driving. Of course he usually speeds anyway it's just this car meant we didn't know by how much.

if you prefer to remain completed unspoiled I'll clam up.

I appreciate it. Please clam up, I like being unspoiled. I'll just act surprised when part of the universe explodes. I hate being behind in these sorts of things, but this is the main reason I don't read fic.

you interrupt that relationship. It becomes less intimate.

Hmm. I think I understand that. Then again I have intimacy issues so that makes a lot of sense. :)

*hand up* I did too :)

Yes, of course. I forgot. Well done to you too!

Heh, amnesiacs aren't much good at remembering things like the cold and flu questions, but when I went through the comm looking for your fic at the end, it suddenly seemed obvious!

I guessed yours because out of the few I thought you could possibly have written, it was the only one you didn't comment on and you spelled it "colour." Heh.

Yours was one of my favourites in the entire challenge. I liked Dori's too - and "The Bee Charmer" - and Hth wrote an Oz fic once so I say Oz writers rock.

Damnit, I thought I'd caught all the UK spelling! Hee. I thought the Oz writers put up a great showing, definitely!

Oh - and Mav wrote Orbit - which I *totally* didn't pick. But it was *great.* Made me want to write rodney/ ronon...

Oh, yes! I loved the dynamic between them in that one, and it's never been a pairing that appealed to me before. 'Go and beat up some more marines' :D

Oh, I think I missed this one - my perusal of the SGA Santa stories was spotty at best.

I, too, loved the line about the Curies, but what really got to me was the image of John in drawstring pants and flip-flops - and no underwear! Mmm.

I thought this was an excellent insight into Rodney - his need to know, to explain, to make sense of things. And go Elizabeth for coming through in the end. *g*

I, too, loved the line about the Curies, but what really got to me was the image of John in drawstring pants and flip-flops - and no underwear! Mmm

And bed-hair! Which he has permanently... poor Rodney, he's got no chance with John looking all ready for bed all the time.*g*

And I read somewhere the Curies' papers and materials are all *still* radioactive.

And go Elizabeth for coming through in the end.

That's my girl. Smart *and* pretty!

Thanks for reading. :)

Wow. That was really intriguing and interesting.

Wow. That was really intriguing and interesting

I'm glad you thought so. That's very gratifying to hear. Thanks for commenting. :)

That was fantastic - plotty and thought-provoking and a completely believable insight into McKay's mind - thank you :)

a completely believable insight into McKay's mind

Thanks. I enjoy poking around in mckay's mind - especially when he's all conflicted. :)

Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.

Loved, LOVED this. You hit Rodney's guilt right on the head. Very well done, thank you for sharing it!!

Thanks for reading it - and commenting. I'm really pleased to hear you liked it. :)

Really well done. You're Rodney voice was really well balanced between the snark and the guilt from the timeframe in question. Your John was also wonderful, treading the line between John's military background and his natural curiosity (not to mention affection for Rodney ;-)

Thanks - I'm glad to hear all the voices worked for you. That's very gratifying.

Thanks for reading. :)

I found this thoroughly enjoyable. Your Rodney was spot on, and the whole story sort of reminded me of the darker direction SGA seems to be taking this year. I very much enjoyed it.

Your Rodney was spot on, and the whole story sort of reminded me of the darker direction SGA seems to be taking this year.


I've only seen as far as "Trinity" so I guess that's something to look forward to. I like a 'darker' edge to my characters.

anyway, glad you enjoyed. Thanks for commenting.

The "talking about the relationship" scene in this is one of my favorites, like, ever. It's refreshingly...not fraught, I guess. I mean, obviously John has some reservations and Rodney's a little nervous and jittery, but overall the whole bit feels very relaxed; two people who are more comfortable with each other than not. It felt new and different to me, and since probably 90% of all slash stories out there include some variant on this scene, that's saying something.

I also really enjoyed the narrative style--there was a sense of distance, of detachment, that seemed to work very well with the emotional themes.

It felt new and different to me, and since probably 90% of all slash stories out there include some variant on this scene, that's saying something

I was actually conscious of how cliche this scene was when I wrote it - I'm not a big fan of insecure!Rodney - so I'm glad you thought it was reasonably fresh anyway. That's reassuring. *g*

I also really enjoyed the narrative style--there was a sense of distance, of detachment, that seemed to work very well with the emotional themes.

I'm big on the detached style - and I think it's more out of habit than preference. Thank god there are people out there who appreciate it!

Glad to hear you liked the story - thanks for commenting.

I read quite a few of sga_santa fics this year and there was a nice amount of good fic, but this was the only I bookmarked and I did beat my brain trying to figure who had written it ;-)

Anyway, I absolutely loved this story. It was definitely my favorite of the challenge.

did beat my brain trying to figure who had written it

I beat my brain trying to figure out the authors of most of those stories. It's possible I'm not very good at recognising peoples' styles...

Anyway, I absolutely loved this story. It was definitely my favorite of the challenge.

I'm very flattered (*blushes*). Thank you. And thanks for commenting. :)

This was stunning.

Thank you! I'm very pleased to hear you liked it.:)

this was gorgeous. I like the slow understated unravelling and reknitting of Rodney. I like the way he and John come together. It's like something quiet and intimate with a whole lot of power simmering under the surface. Very happy-making.

I like the slow understated unravelling and reknitting of Rodney.

What a beautiful way to describe it - that's perfet, yes.

It's like something quiet and intimate with a whole lot of power simmering under the surface. Very happy-making.

I'm glad to hear it. Thanks for reading and thanks for your lovely comments.

Oh, WOW! What an absolutely lovely follow-up to the events in Trinity. I thoroughly enjoyed the dynamics between Rodney and John, but Rodney's own introspection was best. I also loved how John seems to slowly start to accept his attraction to Rodney. Now I'm really craving a sequel. Awesome job!

I also loved how John seems to slowly start to accept his attraction to Rodney.

I suspect Rodney is something of a freight train in the attraction department. You don't really think too much about it until it's bearing down on you - and then you're caught in the headlights... *g*

Now I'm really craving a sequel.

Out of all the stories I've written, this one could use a sequel. I really don't feel like I finished off the clones story... But I'm lousy with sequels. I just can't return to a story once I'm completed it. But it's a nice thought.

Anyway, really pleased to hear you liked it. Thanks for commenting.

Oh wow. I really liked this! Interesting plot and great character voices. :)

Thanks. I'm pleased to hear you liked it. Thanks for commenting - and apologies for taking so long to reply. Busy, busy, busy lately. *sigh*

I am very late, but wanted to say how much I enjoyed it. You have a gift for plot (which I envy), and a great grip on the characters.

I was a bit disappointed with the plot in this story. I wanted to resolution to be *bigger* -there should have been more of an 'Ohhhh' factor to the revelation of the love story but when it came out it was very flat. The story was a bit rushed - as challenge stories so often are - that I didn't get to fix it the way I wanted. But like so much of what I write, there are parts I like as much as parts I hate...

Anyway, once again, thanks for reading. I'm grateful for your loyalty.

Poor Rodney. I'm glad he's getting better. :-)
Thanks for posting.

Thanks for posting.

Thanks for reading- and commenting. Much appreciated.

I stumbles across this story by coincidence and enjoyed it tremendously. The clone experiment idea is intriguing, and I like how the clone plot ties into Rodney's guilt issues post-Trinity.

“But I didn’t! You were right about me, Elizabeth. I’m dangerous. I don’t know my own limits. Somewhere in between creating my first atomic bomb and creating a wormhole I learned there was almost nothing I couldn’t do – and now I don’t know when to stop. They were just children. They spent their whole lives, from birth to death in a test tube.”

Love that conversation with Elizabeth. Heroes or not, they screw up quite a bit, and it's good to see them acknowledge it. Great Rodney characterization.

I'm glad you liked this story. The idea was large (and ambitious) and I had to write this story for a challenge so I probalby wrote it too fast for something so convoluted, but I think they're are good moments in it and I'm glad to hear other people think so too.

Thanks for commenting. :)

I'm from astridv's recs list, trying to read this story. Is it up anywhere else?

The link at "atridv's rec list" works for me. :)

Now it works. I wonder what was going on ...

I don't know. It was probably just an intermittent freak out on my server's part or something. :)